My Life
by Maki
Summary: Ok, it's been quite sometime since my last fic, but I am back. This is the first part of a series and it will only continue given the response, if you like it and want more, let me know. K? Very angsty and you may need kleenex at some point, you have been
1. Default Chapter Title

My Life 1/?

By Maki

Warnings- Angst, may need Kleenex, Language.

A/N- Don't own it, wish I did.

By the way, this is for Kate aka digitally obsessed, a fellow author and friend that has given me support during my many writer's blocks. Arigato Kate!

This part is written in first person.

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_I haven't told anyone yet. How can I? How can I tell my family and my friends that I'm dying? I can't do this! I can't just sit here and wait for death! What kind of shit is this? Haven't I been through enough?_

_ _

_Guess not._

_ _

_I have been sitting in my dorm room for hours now, trying to think of what to do, something, anything. My last year of college and now I find out that I'm dying. God! _

_ _

_Is there even a God? I have to wonder._

_ _

I need my friends, I need my family. Yet I don't want to burden them with this. It's been so long since I have seen the old gang, after high school we all went our separate ways, except for Mimi, who moved to America soon after we got back from the Digiworld.

Well, I sigh to myself. Guess this came at a good time. Yeah right. It's Christmas break and I'm leaving tonight to go back home. I don't know how to tell them, or how they'll react when I do.

Guess I should get ready.. I stand and stretch hearing my spine pop loudly in protest to my inactivity that day and make my way to the bathroom to grab my toothbrush. I stop and look up into the mirror and frown. My face is blotchy and tear stained and my eyes are more red then their usual vibrant blue. My cheeks are sunken in, making me look as though I have lost quite a bit of weight. One look and they are going to know something is up.

I quickly turn on the faucet and splash some cold water on my face hoping that will help and grab my bathroom belongings and leave the bathroom without a second look.

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A/N- OK I know this is horribly short, but before I went on I need to know if there is any interest in this fic or should I give up on this one. Please R&R. Arigato!


	2. Default Chapter Title

**My Life 2/?**

By~~Maki

A/N~ Well here is the second part to this fic, I am writing this as I go along. I hope people are enjoying this, please let me know what you think. By the way, I don't own Digimon, though I would love to own Matt J So don't sue me, I have no money, I am just doing this for fun.

Rating PG 13 for language/topic matter, etc. later maybe higher rating.

T.K. bounded into the airport scanning furiously for his brother. Matt had gone off to college in Europe while T.K. had gone to college locally in Japan. It had been four months since the last time T.K. had seen Matt and he was now a bundle of nervous energy as he scanned the crowds of people exiting the terminal.

"Excuse me… Sorry… Pardon me… Gomen… Excuse me." T.K. said as he tried desperately to maneuver through the thick crowd. "Ugh! Kuso, I just want to find my brother!"

"Hey young man! Who gave you permission to swear." Came a stern voice from behind him.

TK quickly whipped around to confront this jerk that dared to interrupt his raving while trying to search for his brother only to be confronted with the missing said brother.

"Matt!" TK yelled and quickly glomped on to his older brother for a heartfelt hug. 

"Hey TK." Matt said laughing. "I swear you must have grown another 2 or 3 inches." He said while looking up to TK, who was now about 4 inches taller then Matt himself.

TK chuckled softly, shaking his head. "Come on, let's get out of this place, it's a real zoo." He said grabbing on of Matt's bags and heaving it up on his shoulder. "Besides we are having a reunion of sorts tonight, but first I wanna get some time with my big brother."

Matt smiled and nodded his head while trying to breathe deeply to calm his agitated nerves.

After settling into his room and taking a hot shower, Matt sprawled out on his bed and heaved a heavy sigh. _Too much stress, to much bullshit. And tonight I get to see my friends, how will I tell them, better yet, will I tell them?_

_ _

"Earth to Matt? Come in Matt?" TK stood by Matt's bed waving his hand in front of his face. "Come on man, snap out of it."

Matt started, realizing TK was standing above him. "Hey! Didn't hear you come in." Matt said as he sat up and smiled at his younger brother.

TK chuckled, "yeah, well you would have if you hadn't been off in la-la land. So? Who is she? I want details!" TK winked a Matt, gave him a nudge and watched as Matt opened and closed his mouth like a fish out of water.

"Uh… A girl?" Matt asked astounded.

TK nodded his head and grinned like a Cheshire cat.

Matt had to think quickly, " Hey what time does this reunion start?"

TK frowned; Matt had been acting odd ever since he picked him up from the airport. He thought at first that it may have been a girl that Matt was thinking about, but given his reaction to the question, he had to scratch that off his list. He knew Matt was doing well in college, so it couldn't be that. 

"Nani?" 

TK looked at Matt realizing he had been lost in thought, he smiled softly. "Gomen." He looked down and then back at Matt who was still looking at him questioningly.

"Oniisan?"

"Yeah TK?

"What's going on with you? I know something is up, so what is it?"

Matt looked at TK for a moment and then placed his head in his hands. "TK… I just have a lot on my mind."

TK placed his hand on his oniisan's shoulder. "I figured that much, so spill."

Matt was silent, breathing heavily when TK felt Matt's shoulders shudder softly and then finally heard very faint sobbing sounds coming from his older brother. This scared TK to the core. Matt was always so strong and tough, for him to lose it like this it would have to be something really very bad.

"Onegai, Matt, tell me what's going on?"

Matt tried to stop the tears from coming, but the crystalline jewels continued to flow freely from his eyes, like an unstoppable damn that had been set free. Being home and so close to his family had been much harder then he had thought that it would be. He felt so tired, so tired of having this endless weight on his shoulders, so tired of facing this nightmare on his own. This thought made him sob even more as the pain of what had been going on racked through his mind and body. He suddenly reached out and forcefully grabbed a hold of TK bring his younger brother to him and crushing himself in a much needed embrace as he continued to cry.

When Matt grabbed a hold of TK, his mind was racing with possibilities for his older brother's extremely odd behavior and as Matt continued to cry while embracing TK, TK found himself in a panic.

"Matt?" TK said softly while gently rubbing his back.

"I…I'm…s…so…scared. TK" Matt replied between sobs.

"Naze?"

Matt pushed himself away from the warm embrace and looked up at TK. He knew he had to tell him, he couldn't face this alone, not anymore.

"I'm dying TK." Matt said softly.

(tbc…)

A/N~ OK peeps, what da ya think? Crap?? Keep going?? Half way interested?? Very interested?? Love it?? Hate it?? Please let me know, C/C needed, begged, loved, etc.


	3. Default Chapter Title

**My Life 3/?**

By~~ Maki

A/N~ My last part I received a complaint about my use of Japanese words with no reference to their meanings, I won't apologize for this for 2 reasons, the first is that most peps here at FF.Net know the basics of Japanese words as Digimon and many of the others are Japainime. Secondly it was one complaint by one person who couldn't even have the decency to use a real name or email addy. A pointless flame in my book. However, for the one person, there is a reference section at the end of this part to help you learn the basic Japanese words such as please, thank you, brother, etc. Now that I have that off my chest I feel better and am able to continue on with this fic. Please enjoy and please C&C welcome, flames will be dealt with accordingly, see above. J

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TK was stunned beyond words, he tried to say something, anything but his voice betrayed him and all that came out was unintelligible jargon. He looked at Matt trying to see any signs that this could be some sort of cruel joke, but he saw nothing that would lead him to believe that his oniisan wasn't being honest with him.

The admission from Matt weighed heavily on TK's shoulders and a thousand thoughts ran through his mind frantically. Finally he let out a deep breath that he didn't even realize that he had been holding and looked back to Matt who was now sobbing again with his face in his hands. It was then that he realized that he had been oblivious to Matt's physical appearance, Matt had lost weight, he had always been thin, but it was obvious that had lost a good 10 to 15 pounds since they last saw each other, his once shining blonde hair had somehow lost it's luster and was now a dull blonde, limp and hanging. 

_Oh my god,_ thought TK, _Matt is dying. I'm going to lose him._

_ _

It was then that TK did the only thing he could think of at that moment. He drew his older brother into his arms, wrapping his own arms protectively around him and held him tightly.

They stayed like that for quite awhile, neither knowing or caring about the time that was passing. Both held each other and sobbed and grieved.

Much later TK finally was able to find the words that he needed to talk with Matt and Matt, himself, had finally settled down.

"Matt when did you find this out? When are you gonna tell mom and dad? How… How long do you have? What do you have?" TK asked quickly running through the simpliest of his questions.

Matt sniffled and wiped away any remaining tears with the back of his hand.

"I'm not sure when I plan on telling mom and dad, I haven't thought that far ahead. This last summer when I was home, I started to feel off. Headaches, sensitivity to light. It started getting worse towards the end of the summer so before I went back to campus I went to go see the doctor and he told me that I was suffering from migraines and gave me some medications for them."Matt continued to look at his hands while explaining the events leading up to now to his brother.

"I went back to school and I started to take the meds but the headaches just kept getting worse and worse, so I finally went to another doctor and he ordered a C.A.T. scan to see what was going on. The results came back as a tumor that had branched itself out to different regions of my brain making it impossible to operate to remove it. The doctor thought if it was cancer I could go in for chemo, so he sent me to a specialist who deals only with cancer." It was at this point that Matt once again broke down with fresh tears and TK completely speechless started to rub Matt's back trying to give his big brother some form of comfort.

" After a shit load of tests the specialist told me in fact that I do have cancer but it is too far gone to use chemo. The cancer has already started to spread down my spine and that is always fatal. He says I have 4 to 6 months." 

TK looked at Matt and started to cry, "God Matt, I don't want to lose you! Isn't there anything they can do? Something? Anything?" He asked feeling himself on the verge of hysterics.

Matt sighed and took TK's hand in his looking TK directly into his eyes. "TK…" he said softly shaking his head. "There is nothing that can be done. The doctors have given me a ton of meds to help with pain and discomfort. I think maybe I will tell mom and dad after Christmas."

"What about Tai and the rest of them? When will you tell them?" TK asked relizing that they still had that get together to attend tonight.

"Probably around the same time."

TK nodded.

"Listen TK, I'm wiped. I think before we head out to see the others I want to take a nap. Ok?"

"Sure thing Matt." TK said trying his best to find a small smile. He gave Matt one last hug and left the bedroom so matt could rest.

_I promise you oniisan, I will do everything in my power to make sure that whatever time you have left will be great. I will do whatever it takes. I know the others will feel the same. _TK thought to himself as he made his way to his own room.

TBC?

A/N~ As promised small dictionary below.

Gomen… sorry

Kuso… shit or damn

Nani?… What?

Oniisan… brother (older)

Onegai… please

Naze?… why?

Ja ne!


End file.
